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We know that children are a blessing and they are bundles of joy in our lives. This doesn’t mean that raising them is easy though. When you have one child it is a little more manageable since there is just one child and two adults in the picture but time flies and baby number two, three, four comes along and everything just isn’t what it used to be!
Parents of multiple children will tell you that it is a crazy affair because you are dealing with different people’s needs every single day and it becomes very easy to forget about yourself and even your marriage. How then do you combat this (it truly is war)?
Manage your expectations
What do you expect of your spouse? Are they aware? Sit your spouse down and have a candid discussion about the roles each one of you is expected to play. Find out your weaknesses and strengths s that you know where you can fill in for each other. This discussion should actually happen before the children come.
You will need to have it again and again because things change and children change everything. Keep each other in the loop and ensure that you hold each other accountable.
Support each other
Both of you have lives outside of parenting and it takes a lot of energy to wear both hats. It is important to note that as much as there are a lot of useful resources for parenting, your spouse needs your support.
If you feel that your spouse is at a breaking point, drop what you are doing and just be there for them. Help out in whatever way you can mindless of the kind of day that you have had simply because they need it. Your time will come and you will need their help.
Make love
You were lovers before you became parents and this should not stop. It may be difficult to maintain it but it makes a lot of difference for your marriage. True, you will be exhausted half the time and all you can think of is rest and sleep but your relationship needs to stay alive and well.
Sex has untold benefits for your body and your mind as well. It leaves you feeling happy and looking more beautiful or handsome. It gives you a workout; it allows you to bond with your spouse and leaves you feeling fulfilled. Sex with someone you love always leaves you with great benefits.
Laugh often
Life is filled with stress and so is parenting. Laughter is the best medicine for such situations because it causes you to change your focus from the negative. Laugh through the struggles, laugh at yourself and laugh with each other.
Don’t take it all too seriously because situations are never permanent. Laughter adds years to your life and leaves you with less wrinkles. You don’t want to look older than you really are, do you?
Me time
Everyone needs a break from everything once in a while. Give your spouse a break and let them enjoy it without feeling guilty. Let them do something that doesn’t require you to be present. Something that they enjoy doing on their own, even if it is going out for drinks with friends, a spa day, sports or just a long walk in the park.
Sometimes all you need is to get away from it all for a while and you come back recharged to take on new challenges. Don’t complain about what the kids put you through when your spouse comes back though because it makes them feel guilty for taking the break. You want them to take the break though because they will be better able to handle everything when they are recharged.