Many people think that cheating on your spouse has to be the most difficult thing to do. Others think that people just wake up and decide to cheat (granted, some do) but it is not that simple. Cheating is actually a process that starts with a simple and sometimes innocent act like giving your number to a total stranger, accepting a ride, sharing your problems or even just helping someone find something in the supermarket.
Take this example for instance. You are out and it is raining heavily but you forgot your umbrella. A kind person of the opposite sex offers to cover you since they are also crossing the road. God sent, right? Then you realize that you are actually going the same direction so you strike up a conversation that gets very interesting. You feel like you have known this person for much longer than five minutes because of the way the conversation seems effortless. You have to part ways. Do you exchange numbers or just let them know that you appreciate the lift and great conversation and get on your way?
Men have been blamed for infidelity much more than women over the years but women cheat too. It is just less expected of them so maybe the spotlight doesn’t shine on them that much. They could also be more discreet about it. But I digress.
It is important for everyone to realize that blaming your spouse for your infidelity is not sensible. Let’s just say, for argument’s sake, that your spouse does not make you happy any more. Maybe the sex is not good enough or the food is subpar. Maybe they are working too much and don’t have time for you like they used to.
Then an opportunity presents itself in the form of the beautiful neighbour next door or your well-built co-worker. You then jump at it. How on earth do you then say that your partner pushed you to it? You agreed to the invitation from the other party on your own! It can get really murky from here so the best way is to avoid it in the first place.
Keep your word
Accountability is very important, even as a married adult. Your partner should know what is going in your life and make sure that it is the truth. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep or aren’t willing to keep.
Don’t give reasons that would lead to mistrust
If that new ‘friend’ is causing them unrest, look into them closely. There just might be something there. If it means letting them go don’t be too proud to do so and don’t get defensive. Come home early or at least don’t be secretive about your whereabouts.
Make them number one
Your partner shouldn’t have to compete for your attention with other things or people. Let them know that there is no equal and then act like it. Actions speak much louder.
Acknowledge and be considerate of insecurities
By adulthood many people have gone through hurt and they may have some insecurity about different things. Instead of brushing off or taunting your partner because of their insecurities, you would rather acknowledge them and try to help them get over them. You may not be the cause of the insecurities but you can walk with them.
Couples need to remember that it is the small unfixed cracks that eventually bring down a wall. Deal with issues as they arise and forgive easily. Don’t look for solace elsewhere and don’t let someone else wipe your tears. A marriage is held by two imperfect people who are willing to work through their imperfections to make the best possible union. With time you will realize that you are stronger together, even with all your weaknesses combined.