There a lot of parents out there that find it very easy to discus any topic or subject with their kids except the the topic on sex. A qustion as simple as ‘ Mum what is sex?’ will make an average mum or dad feel uncomfortable. But it need not be. There is certainly a lot embarrassment regarding the topic of sex in the culture we are in nowadays. The press paints a perverted image as to what sex should be like, whilst the place of worship hardly ever says a word. That’s until we’ve got a private, one-time, whisper of a “talk” with our children that is definitely filled with awkwardness and could leave them uneasy and frightened. What we’re missing out on is that sex is God’s concept! He’s unafraid of it, embarrassed about it, or trying to hide it! When God stated, “Be fruitful and multiply,” He was providing us a sex drive. It’s high time the church speaks up regarding God’s heart for sex and builds up a healthier sexual culture, smashing the a sense of shame culture that’s been created over the years. Below are a few practical tips for educating your kids on the subject of sex:
1. Celebrate sexuality. It’s God’s idea, and He talks about it throughout the Bible. He’s not nervous about sex and He made it to be beautiful and desirable. In Proverbs 5:18-19 it says, “Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” That’s in the book of Proverbs—the book of the Bible known for sharing wisdom! Isn’t God’s heart for sex beautiful? Sex is something that should be celebrated, not hidden.
2.Teach them the power of sacrifice. The goal of a healthy sexual culture is not to get rid of the desire for sex, but rather to manage the appetite for it. We must stop using shame to do this. Teach your kids that by saying no to temptation now means saying yes to a better future. The value of their virginity is in the battle it took to keep it. It gives them something valuable, that they’ve had to sacrifice and fight for, to give away to the one they love on their honeymoon night.
3. Teach them to manage their desires from a young age. This principle begins when they’re young! Think about how your kids cry out for candy bars. We can teach them to manage this desire by telling them they need to wait until after dinner to have candy. This trains them in gratification delay, so that when they’re older they’ve already learned how to wait for good things. We can’t always get what we want when we want it, and every child needs to learn this lesson from a young age. It will only help as they manage their sexual appetite when they’re older.
4. Don’t punish them into purity. We can’t create a positive by enforcing a bunch of negatives. In other words, we can’t just motivate our kids into purity by saying “Don’t have sex because you could get pregnant!” Rather, release and empower your children into fighting for their purity. Paint a picture and give them a vision of the importance of waiting so that they’re motivated by a strong “yes” to something beautiful, instead of a weak “no” to temptation that’s motivated by fear. Instead of motivating by punishment and shame, help them make a battle plan and always support them in keeping to it. And here’s the kicker—if they fail, God can restore anything, even your child’s sexuality.
5. Create a safe place for them to talk about sex. Have age-appropriate conversations with your children about sex throughout their lives, so that you don’t just constrict communication to “a talk” but rather a normal part of your family culture. The principle of first mention comes in here. It says that when we hear about a subject for a first time, it becomes the foundation by which we determine what we believe about that subject. Everything else we are told about it is then weighed against the foundational core values we learned. In other words, the first time we hear about a subject it creates lenses that we will continue to have anytime we look at that subject. Let’s be the kind of parents who create the lenses and perspective that our kids view sex through. Let’s instill kingdom virtues in them by talking about God’s value for sex. If it is difficult for you to talk to your kids about sex, practice with your spouse. Get comfortable with it so that you don’t project awkwardness or shame when you actually begin to have these conversations.
I know this may be challenging for some of the parents out there because you probably didn’t grow up in a healthy sexual culture. Today I want to encourage to to break that pattern and begin a new culture with your family! I pray that you would have supernatural wisdom and be equipped with arrows of purity and morality. I pray that you would know how to bring light where there is darkness, and I break shame off of you and your home in Jesus’ name. I release a joy over you and a celebration over sexuality, that you would carry God’s heart on this subject! If you feel like you need more equipping on this subject I recommend checking out MoralRevolution.com, which is filled with wisdom that will empower you to have a healthy perspective on sex. How do you develop a healthy sexual culture in your family?
Parents, my take is: there is absolutely no reason why you should feel uncomfortable to discus the topic about sex with your kids. I will rather prefer they hear it from you than from strangers out there or even n the internet.
From krisvallotton.com
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